Heirs Together | 1 Peter 3:1-7 | Living Out the Gospel in Marriage and Family

What does faithful witness look like in our relationships?

In 1 Peter 3:1–7, Peter turns our attention to the home—not the public square or the church gathering, but the everyday relationships that often test our patience, love, and endurance the most. In a world that celebrates instant results and self-promotion, God calls His people to a different kind of witness: one shaped by quiet strength, gentle respect, sacrificial love, and long-term faithfulness.

This passage speaks directly to marriage, but its implications extend beyond. It challenges all of us to consider how we reflect Christ in our closest relationships.

Watch the sermon below as we explore what it means to live as heirs together of the grace of life.

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Thank you for joining us for this week's sermon from First Reformed Church in Edgerton, Minnesota. Each week, we dig into God's word, trusting that the Holy spirit will continue the good work of sanctification in us.

The way that we are wired in our modern times is to expect instant results. Now, to be fair, we do realize that everything can't be instant. But even when we know something is an instant, we still want things to happen quickly. We want results. When I was a manager with Toys R Us many years ago, we had new meetings about strategies to get sales back on track. And these meetings usually took place in the fall as we were gearing up for the holiday season. They involved not only talking with the managers about this, but the hourly staff also was involved in all of this. I could tell you how every last one of these meetings that we did went. They would tell us that this new strategy was going to be our approach going forward. This was our new culture. They would say that this the flavor of the month. Well, then next September, we would get the same speech. You never got the sense that we were playing the long game. In hindsight, with history as my guide, I can look back at what's happened with that company and realize they were just moving chairs around on the Titanic as it was going down, and they thought that re arranging the chairs was going to keep it from sinking.

But again, when I heard that they were going out of business, I remembered those meetings and thinking, they kept on saying, this isn't the flavor of the month, but it always was. They were never playing the long game. Now, I bring I'm going to bring that up because I think we often take too short of an approach to evangelism. We've gotten the idea that conversion is a quick hit. You take your friend to hear a speaker. The message is going to be strong. They'll cry, they'll say the prayer. They'll fill out the commitment card, and it's done. Now, I'm not discounting the faith of those who've had an experience such as that. I am not doing that. I'm simply saying that that's rare. When it comes to our witness to unbelievers, it's important that we play the long game, the long game of faithful living and faithful proclamation of the gospel into their lives. One of my favorite examples of this is the story of Monica, who was the mother of the great theologian Augustine. You see, he wasn't always the great church father and arguably the greatest theologian in the history of the church other than the apostle Paul.

He was always very intelligent, but his early life was rebellious, and that's putting it lightly. He was prideful, he He immersed himself in a lifestyle of sin and philosophical confusion. He rejected his mother's Christian faith, and he would openly mock it. He chased after any and every philosophy that would allow him to live however he wanted to live. He just wanted to make sure that he could still remain an intellectual. But even in the face of the scorn that her son was giving her for her faith, Monica continued to pray for her son. She prayed over him and wept as she pleaded with God that he would be saved. She would follow him from city to city, quietly near him and love him and show him Christ. She even sought out the very well-known Bishop of Milan, who was named Ambrose, to speak to him her. The reply that Ambrose gave Monica when she made this request is a profound one. He said this, It is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish. Well, years passed, not days, not weeks, years. Monica persisted, and by the grace of God, in the influence of the faithful preaching of Ambrose of Milan, Augustine came to faith in Jesus.

It wasn't in an instant, not when he was called forward at a youth rally. It was through this slow and steady witness of a praying mother and the faithful preaching of Christ by Ambrose. Monica played the long game, and she trusted in God to do a good work in her son. That's what Peter is calling believers to do here in 1 Peter 3. Actually, we've seen hints of this in the first two chapters of this book as well. Peter calls us as unbelievers or as believers, to a witness that doesn't rely on quick words or flashy methods. We're called to a godly life that is quiet but powerful in its witness to the Lord Jesus, to to endure faithfully and patiently with a trust that God is at work even when we can't see it. We land here in the opening of this Chapter 3 of 1 Peter, and we see actually a familiar theme that we've encountered together multiple times in the past. In our time, in Ephesians, in Colossians, and in Titus, we saw scriptural commands to wives and husbands, similar to this one. In these passages, they all use language that we're uncomfortable with in our time.

Being told to submit or to be subject to anyone in our time is a very unpopular idea. We are a relatively rebellious people, are we not? But it is particularly unpopular in our time in the context of relationships between men and women. But as we looked at those three passages, and as we consider that theme in this passage this morning, we see that the Bible is serious about those commands, but they do not carry the oppressive idea that our culture reads into these when we read them. Because what we are told is that the Bible conveys an idea of oppression upon women, and that are required to blindly accept what their husbands tell them. That's what the culture reads into these texts. But the actual picture that's painted for us in scripture is a relationship that's complementary. Yes, it place his authority on the husband, but the husband is supposed to lay down his life for his bride. He is to love as Christ loved the church. That's the biblical understanding we saw in those passages from Ephesians, Colossians, Titus. It's a framework that we need to bring with us as we read Peter's words here this morning as well.

What I really want to focus on in this passage isn't those ideas that we've gone through in the past. Because here in Peter, the idea of this relationship between a wife and her husband is seen as one that can be a witness. This has actually been something that we have seen at multiple points throughout the book. Peter calls his readers to abstain from pleasures of the flesh earlier on in 1 Peter for the purpose that others might see their good conduct and they would glorify God. And he also called believers to be subject to their earthly masters in the hopes that they would see that this is a reflection of the fact that they follow Christ and that they would be moved to desire to seek out what has their servants living in such a humble way. As I mentioned, this idea now extends down into the family. The reason Peter isolates the wife here in the first part of this passage for us is because In the ancient Roman culture, whatever religion the husband adhered to, the wife was expected to follow as well. Clearly, as Peter is writing here, in some of these churches, women had come to faith.

They had put their trust in Jesus, and they had done so apart from the approval of their husbands. So Peter is encouraging them here to hold fast to continue to trust in Christ. And while they follow Jesus, Peter is encouraging them to approach this difficult situation in a general way in order to show Christ to their spouses. And when we understand what's happening in the background with this, we see that Peter is helping those who might be in a really difficult situation have a way that they can make sharing the faith a tangible thing. So as part of this, Peter also calls them to focus on a beauty that doesn't fade as we move on to verses 3 through 6. Now, in these verses, Peter isn't setting standards for how they should dress. Then if they don't do these things, then they're failing to be good witnesses for Jesus. That's not the point. With the spirit in which this is written, you can tell that this isn't a hard and fast prohibition of these things that he's saying, of not wearing gold jewelry or braiding your hair or whatever. That's not the point. The point is about what human hearts are prone to value in instead of the things that really matter.

Because in pagan religion during this time, there was a lot of immodesty. There was a lot of focus on these types of things, external appearances. Peter is saying that we want to work on adorning the inside. We want to be beautiful on the inside and let that shine out of us instead of all this other stuff that fails and failings. While this is addressed to women here, I think it's important that we acknowledge that most males aren't overly concerned with external appearances when it comes to hair, jewelry, or clothing, but they have other issues. Like I said, it isn't jewelry or clothing for most men. It's most likely the image that we project through our vehicles, our tools, our tech, or even the way we carry ourselves. Are we working harder to appear strong, competent, or successful than how we're considering how we're to cultivate a quiet heart that fears the Lord? The principle that we find in what Peter has to say here, ring true for males and females in so many areas of our lives. Are we concerned with being attractive in appearance or with being attractive in how we love God and how we serve our neighbor?

Do we want our things to be nice so that we can present an external image to the world of being well off or having a status? Or are we more interested in making it clear that the most important status that we have is that we are in Christ and that we strive to be his faithful servants to the world? And honestly, this section of 1 Peter is pretty convicting for everyone. And dwelling on just the braided hair statement or jewelry or clothing or gold can make us miss the bigger point of the power of living a faithful life to the glory of God. There are many examples in scripture that show us this principle. But because Peter here is specifically addressing women, he points his readers to Sarah. She's a hero of the faith who Peter tells us is a model of this because he He called Abraham Lord. Now, because we don't really use that word Lord much in our modern tabularities, unless it's in church, we might actually read too much into that term because we really only use that term as a term for God. But the way Peter is using it is simply an Eastern way of showing respect and acknowledging that you are under the authority of someone.

It isn't a term of worship here or something that overly elevates the person that they're addressing this title towards. It's not the point of elevating the individual. It's a matter of respect. Peter here tells the women in these difficult situations where their husbands are unbeliever, to do their best to emulate this hero of the faith, Sarah. But we see that he does make it clear that he understands that the task before them is a tough one. He encourages them to do good and to not Don't fear anything that is frightening. I can imagine that in the first century Roman culture, that doing what Peter is calling these ladies to do was not easy. Their faith would have caused tension in their families. It would have been socially unacceptable. But Peter says, You can do this. Be like Sarah. It's hard, but you're called to remain faithful to the one who saved you and witnessed to this salvation you have in Jesus. This can be done. And once again, It's a specific situation that Peter is talking about here. But the principle that he's putting out there applies to us as well. Peter has brought up faithful living as a testimony to the watching world several several times, and then here again in chapter 3.

It starts out from being a good citizen to a good employee, and then down to the family relationships. He says that all of these things, all of these tears of influence and experience we have in life, are all a way that we can testify to the power of Jesus in our lives. We get further insight into this idea with the words he addresses husbands with in verse 7. The calling he places on the men here in this verse is to live in an understanding way and to show honor to their wives because they are the ones available. Again, our modern sensibilities cringe at that statement. But what this is talking about here is about physical strength. These words are not suggesting that women are weak, intellectually, spiritually, or morally. That's not the point. We're talking about physical strength. Now, remember, we live in a pretty safe society, don't we? We have laws in place to protect people who are not physically strong from being taken advantage of. But even with those things in place, those laws in place, those societal structures in place, we know what can happen when someone is able to physically overpower another person.

Now, a few years back, I saw a meme online that was being circulated, and it talked about the different ways that some men will situate themselves in restaurants or in rooms so that they're ready in case something goes down. The reply to this were really quite funny because the response was, women were generally shocked that men think this way, and men were like, You mean everybody doesn't do this? We have this general feeling that when we are able to protect someone, we want to because we understand and we know how vulnerable some people are, whether it's because of their stature or other reasons. We understand that protecting those who might be vulnerable is important, but it would have been even more important in ancient times because they didn't have all the structures in place that we have now. With that understanding, we can see the point that Peter is making here. Peter is calling Christian husbands to stand up for their wives, to respect them, to care for them, and not just because it's the right thing to do, but because it's the sacrificial life they're called to. Like I mentioned, the New Testament brings these marital relationships up multiple times.

We always get the idea that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. It's a high calling. Here we see one important reason why the marital relationship is supposed to look like this. It's because we are heirs together in the grace that we have in Christ. You are more than husbands and wives. For that matter, you are more than parents and children or friends and family. You are more than that. Because we are heirs together in grace, Peter tells us that we We should honor one another. He says that we should do this so that our prayers are not hindered. The idea here is that when our human relationships aren't right, our relationship to God isn't going to be great either. A healthy relationship to God makes your family relationships flourish. When those are going well, your relationship towards those relationships will benefit as well. The purpose here that we see in all of this is that ultimately this brings glory to God, and it witnesses to the saving work for his people that more people might hear and believe and be brought to faith in Christ. The big theme here is this idea of witness.

It started in previous chapters with higher authorities in the government, and then it got to their relationship as slaves or as employees, and now it's down into the family. It's about witness. And as I started out, I mentioned that we want the easy fix for all of this. That's what we want. We want this to be easy and quick. We want to tell somebody the gospel one time and they believe. And that can happen, but it usually doesn't. Faithful witness is the long game. Again, we think it's one conversation, one big evangelistic event, but it's not. It's the breadth of our lives. That's our truly great witness. While many do come to faith through short term efforts, through the majority of history, most people come to faith through our relationships. The church grows by having children and raising them in the faith. That's the long game. It comes by people getting to know their friends and family and laboring to witness Christ to them over the long term. That's how it has worked throughout history. In America, we think of the great Awakenings, and we think that all those type of things are how the church grew.

It's not. It's through families and friendships that the church grows. And while I shared that awesome story of Augustine's mother, because he's arguably the greatest theologian in the history of the church, and I think it's a good example of how valuable that can be. I applauded Monica and talked well of her, but I know we have Monica's here today. We have you here today, mothers and fathers who have prayed and labored in hope that their children will return to the faith. Spouses who have done the same for their unbelieving partners. We also have those who have long prayed over their friends and family who persist in unbelief. We can all be Monica's. I'm guessing we all have that person in mind. It's my prayer that as you head into the world this week, that the words from this passage would resonate with you and move you to continue to play the long game. Whether that is someone you've been laboring over for years, whether it's someone that the spirit has brought to your mind this morning, play the long game. May you be blessed with endurance in doing so. That you might be a witness and that God might use you through the proclamation of the word and through his Holy spirit to bring many to faith, that we might be heirs together and praise our great God.

Amen. Let us pray. Great and merciful God, we thank you for the gift of your word, and we thank you that it tells us how we can witness through our lives. We pray, Lord, that you would make us faithful to do so, that you would put us in contact with those who we so deeply care for, and that we would find new ways, that we would find continuing ways, that we would find any means possible to show them your love. So we pray for all those that are in those gathered here, mind today, that as they heard this, they thought of those people. We pray for those folks, and we pray that your spirit and word would be at work, that Christ might be glorified. It's in his name that we pray. Amen.

Thank you for joining us for this week's sermon. For more information about First Reformed Church, head to our Facebook page or website, edgertonfrc.org.

You can find five days of devotions based on this sermon here.